So I’m walking home from work just now, and a guy who kinda looks like a cross between Sammy Hagar and Ted Nugent (leaning more towards the Nuge), wearing a backwards CIA hat and camoflauge pants, says to me,

“Its true man, the cops said they planted bombs all over the city. Just because they turned me in for something I didn’t even do!”

I replied “Uh, ok, thanks!”

He repeated its true.

SOOOO..if some crazy shit blows up, you heard it here first.
Straight from the crazy guy’s mouth, to the crazy guy’s fingers to your crazy eyes!

I dunno about this site. Upload your face (photo) and it tells you how much you look like certain celebs.

The Photo I Used

Who They Say I Most Look Like

Followed by:
61% Man Ray
55% Carrie-Anne Moss
51% Richard Dreyfuss
51% Rudyard Kipling

and a buncha other ppl i don’t know

(via Dr. Lady Cutie Troublemaker)

We are experiencing technical difficulites. Tune in next week for a new show! SORRY!

Head on down to the The Chubby Vegan!

Nice job Garner, just in case you didn’t realise having Affleck’s baby was a bad idea before…

The Emmy-winning action-spy series that made a brand-name star of Jennifer Garner will air its final episode in May, the network said.

E! Online

Gee…people aren’t into a pregnant spy jumping around?

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Actor Pat Morita, whose portrayal of the wise and dry-witted Mr. Miyagi in “The Karate Kid” earned him an Oscar nomination, has died. He was 73.

Morita died Thursday at his home in Las Vegas of natural causes, said his wife of 12 years, Evelyn. She said in a statement that her husband, who first rose to fame with a role on “Happy Days,” had “dedicated his entire life to acting and comedy.”

Source

Shit I nearly forgot! I think I got this one in before midnight.

A Thanksgiving Prayer
- William S Burroughs

Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and
danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin’ lawmen,
feelin’ their notches.

For decent church-goin’ women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for “Kill a Queer for
Christ” stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody’s allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories– all right let’s see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.

LOS ANGELES -
Jessica Simpson and
Nick Lachey, who turned mid-level music careers into Hollywood superstardom by celebrating their marriage in an MTV reality show and television specials, are calling it quits after months of persistent breakup rumors.

The couple announced their separation Wednesday.

“After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways,” they said in a joint statement released by their publicists. “This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other.”

I guess the timing on this announcement is so they could get out of going to each other’s in-laws for the Holiday.

Oh man.. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is at it again!

Hilarious

Nov. 22 (Bloomberg) — Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has begun a program of discounted heating fuel sales for low-income customers in Boston, following up on promises to help the poor throughout the Americas.

The fuel will be sold for 60 cents to 80 cents less than prevailing retail prices, according to Felix Rodriguez, president of Citgo Petroleum Corp., the U.S. refining and marketing business owned by Venezuela’s state oil company. Citgo will sell 12 million gallons of fuel through two nonprofit groups, he said.

Source

Remember when Pat Robertson wanted this guy assassinated? Boy..he sounds like a real threat.

Stolen from BenC’s blog:

Ok, it’s no secret, I’m a big fan and supporter of the medium that is comics. If you’ve been to my blog beofre you’ve, no doubt, read all of my endless hype, diatribes and pimping of various books. Well, check this out. I’ve never seen anything like this. I mean, when I read this my jaw just hit the ground. I couldn’t help but think, “Is this a joke? Parody? This isn’t for real, is it?” Sadly enough, yes it is! What am I talking about? Why “Liberality for All”! The ultra-agressive, exceptionally amateurish right wing comic presented by ACC Publications. Read now the sales pitch, take directly from the website…

‘It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. America is under oppression by ultra-liberal extremists who have surrendered governing authority to the United Nations. Hate speech legislation called the “Coulter Laws” have forced vocal conservatives underground. A group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy, Oliver North, and a young man born on September 11, 2001, set out to thwart Ambassador Usama bin Laden’s plans to nuke New York City. ‘

But wait, it gets better!

Reagan was born on September 11th, 2001. He is the son of a NYC firefighter whose life was spared by attending his son’s birth. Reagan has grown to manhood in an ultra-liberal educational system: being told, not asked, what to think. With personal determination, which alienates him from his contemporaries, he has chosen the path less traveled…the path to the Right.

Want more? OK!

Two decades of negotiation with the U.N., and America’s administration of 2021 (President Chelsea Clinton and Vice President Michael Moore), has culminated in a truce with fundamentalist Islamic terrorists, or so America is told. The honorable ambassador from Afghanistan has come to NYC to address the U.N., his name is Usama Bin Laden. Ambassador Bin Laden has announced that he plans a public apology for the “misunderstanding” of the events of 9/11. This apology will occur exactly 20 years to the minute the first plane hit the WTC; this will be on the observation deck at the newly renamed “Unity Tower” built on the hallowed grounds where the WTC once stood.

You wanna see some of the “art”, don’t you? Well, head on over to the ACC website and soak up the unintentionally funny glory of “Liberality for all!”

Wow. hahahahahhhahaa..check out the full series synopsis

Aww yeah, just like the olden days! Its time to pull out the stax of wax and spin some records folks! Good ol’ fashioned needles and grooves!

TUNE IN!
9p E / 6p W

Well, it looks like I got a big old taste of the cutting room floor on this one. I think I may have seen part of my leg in the airport scene, but alas, no big bathroom scene. Ah well. Dats da biz, right?

Anyhow, turns out it was a pretty damn good movie anyhow. So yeah..everyone go see it.

This is why I’m not too worried about the Bird Flu. Here’s a quote about “regular” flu taken from the FDA.gov site:

Most people get over the flu in about a week, but it can lead to ear infections, bronchitis, pneumonia, and other complications. Each year, the illness causes an average of 36,000 deaths and more than 200,000 hospitalizations. Most deaths occur in people with heart or lung diseases. Several studies have shown that children younger than 2, even if they are healthy, are more likely to be hospitalized when they have the flu than older children.

fda.gov

Refresh my memory again? How many people worldwide have died this year of Bird Flu? oh yeah 64.

I see you hanging up the lights on the buildings downtown. Too bad. Its just not time yet. I see the commercials with jingle bells on tv. Doesn’t matter. I see the decorations at the stores. Phtt..Means nothing. I see the snow and I hear you asking me what I want for Christmas. I’m sorry.

ITS NOT CHRISTMAS-TIME TIL THE OLD NAVY COMMERCIALS START!!

(And they better bring this chick back.)

ZURICH, Switzerland - Most people know him as the Minister for Silly Walks on “Monty Python” or as Q in James Bond films. But
John Cleese will also go down in history for another reason: lemurs.

Researchers from the University of Zurich have named a newly discovered species of lemur — one of the most primitive and endangered primates in the world — after the British comedian in honor of his work with the animal.

The avahi cleesei, which weights less than two pounds and eats leaves, was discovered in Western Madagascar in 1990 by a team led by anthropologist Urs Thalmann and his colleague Thomas Geissman of Zurich University.

Yahoo! News

hey hi everyone. i wanted to introduce you to my FIANCE, keef!!! we’re
getting married on the 25th of this month in las vegas. i’m the
happiest i’ve ever been in my whole life and figured it was time to
let you in!!! the feeling of being in love and having someone love
you back is a feeling i hope all of you get to experience. it’s truly divine. i feel so lucky to have found the man of my dreams

More…

Nov. 8, 2005 — Could sauerkraut be the next chicken soup?

The fermented food has been getting a lot of buzz lately, after scientists in Seoul claimed that 11 of 13 infected chickens started to recover from the avian flu after being fed an extract of kimchi, a Korean dish similar to sauerkraut, according to a BBC report.

..Researchers wanted to know why Polish women have low rates of breast cancer, so they compared Polish natives to Polish-American immigrants. They discovered that women who ate four or more servings of raw or barely cooked cabbage per week during adolescence were 74 percent less likely to develop breast cancer than the women who ate 1.5 or fewer servings of sauerkraut per week.

ABC News

Sauerkraut Recipes

No words even necessary. (yeah, its real)

Turkey Dinner Bush