Pizazz Pizazz

CNN, Yahoo News and everyone else confirms Jen Garner and Ben Affleck have secretly tied the knot on some tropical island. JEN! WHY? I’m about ot be single! Oh well. While we didn’t like the Affleck / Lopez relationship, the DFH approves this marriage.

If anyone was wondering “wtf? no updates?” its b/c i’m in the process of relocating across the country. The last few days for me here in Memphis, and well its bittersweet. All the bitching i’ve done about this place, and now i’m done..its like…one of those episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard when the Duke boys are captured and Rosco is sad cuz he doesn’t have anything to do anymore. Or when the Joker realizes he needs Batman, cuz its just not the same w/ out him. Some sort of twisted void for me, now that i won’t be able to bitch non-stop about my position in life. I’m sure i’ll find something. Don’t worry about me!

Anyhow, I’ve secured an apt, and in the final stages of packing. Next phase: getting drunk w/ everyone one last time, then next week loading the truck (ugh) and driving (ugh) then unloading the truck (ugh) ..to the third floor (UGH)

Interesting.

TIME magazine has a big ol’ article about “Hustle and Flow.” Sweet.

Maybe i’ll come back to memphis for Craig’s annual halloween party.

(via Dr. Abby

(Waylon Jennings Voice) Well now, it looks like those Duke boys have gotten themselves in a heap o’ trouble now haven’t they…

Something on the Superficial about an in junction against the release of the new Dukes of Hazard movie. stay tuned…

“Goin’ down to South Park, gonna meet some friends of mine…”

Fuck it. Enjoy the Watto Pr0n

(safe for work)

Its become a thread here on the DFH. I just can’t seem to figure out why I think the Tom-Katie engagement is so ridiculous, other than he’s obviously an aging gay man, and she’s like…12. Add the scientology to this creepiness and you’ve got some serious weirdo publicity stunt going on….or a deal with the devil.

Now I’m not saying I’m gonna go out and burn the flag, but I don’t see why it should be against the law to do so if you feel you need to. Well guess what, The House just approved an ammendment to outlaw flag burning. Remember when this country wasn’t so fascist?

Here’s the Best Explanation for this new law

What
The
Fuck?

(thanks Gann)

Watch as he Kills Oprah

Yes, now you too can download, print and fold your own Hasselhoff Themed Paper Airplanes!

Rockstarlet writes:

Dear Tom,
In 1986, when I first saw “Top Gun,” you were the hottest man ever. Then I found out that you are shorter than a hobbit, so my enamoration faded…yet only slightly. Now almost 20 years later, you are little more than a creepy old man, pledging your love to Chris Klein’s hand-me-down…a woman who probably had your picture in her Ohio elementary school locker.

We all know you are a total homo. Just give it up.

Love, Rockstarlet

Hypo Matt has posted a new voicemail of his on the DFH Public Audio Blog

LiquiDiamond Frost: marriage is not at all about any of those things
LiquiDiamond Frost: or shouldnt be
Jack Matador: then its not about anything
Jack Matador: cuz its beyond me
LiquiDiamond Frost: it is
LiquiDiamond Frost: let me explain
LiquiDiamond Frost: best i can
LiquiDiamond Frost: i was pouring a glass of ornage joice
LiquiDiamond Frost: juice
Jack Matador: fine go
Jack Matador: so marriage is a glass of OJ
Jack Matador: go on
LiquiDiamond Frost: Ok…
Jack Matador: explain further, Forrest Gump
LiquiDiamond Frost: i was still a maiden….
LiquiDiamond Frost: fu
LiquiDiamond Frost: and I started pouring my self a glass of orange juice
Jack Matador: “Marriage is like a glass of chocolates…you never know when OJ is gonna kill you and your lover”

I’ve only heard the Dawn and Drew podcast, but here’s a bunch of Porn Podcasts via Flesbot

Anyone think this whole Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes thing is gonna last about as long as Jacko and Lisa Marie?

I’m already sick of hearing about them.

So i’m sittin’ here at my layover at the Minneapolis airport, eatin’ my sausage, egg and cheese biscuit from Burger King, I look up just in time to see Airforce One land right in front of me. Great. The airport is shut down while W arrives…I love delays.

LARGO, Florida (AP) — An autopsy on Terri Schiavo backed her husband’s contention that she was in a persistent vegetative state, finding that she had massive and irreversible brain damage and was blind, the medical examiner’s office said Wednesday. It also found no evidence that she was strangled or otherwise abused.

The autopsy aslo stated that her brain had shruck to about half the size of a normal human being (not counting everyone who is on the road when I’m trying to get somewhere)

Shiavo’s family insists she can still be saved, so DON’T BURY HER BODY YET! SHE JUST NEEDS SOME REHAB!

Let it go Shiavo’s she’s long since been gone.