As I sit here killing time before we go out to drink away 2004, I figured I needed to address the end of the foul year 2004. But I really didn’t come up with anything. It sucked. So did 2003, and 2002, and 2001, and 2000. Actually, I don’t know if I can actually name a “Great Year,” but 2004 DEFINITELY sucked. We got shafted w/ the W. again, and war and shit on dinner plates. I got laid off (again), and so did Heidi. All hail King George. Oh, and just in the knick of time, the largest natural disaster since God tipped off Noah to build a bigger boat. (and maybe that dinosaur extinction thing. If you believe in that sort of nonsense. We all know if it ain’t in the Bible, it didn’t happen! All hail King George.)

For me, personally, 2004 is another year of nothing accomplished…unless of course you count my experience as an extra in the upcoming “Walk the Line” movie, and my lunch with Bill Murray. I’m not sure those things are really “accomplishments” so much as “luck.” Its probably safe to say this year has been the most depressing year to date. All hail King George.

I’m trying desperately to scrounge up something to say about 2004, so here’s what I have to offer..Johnny Depp was the most searched for movie star on the IMDB in 2004. As of right now, my IMDB STARmeter is #497,428.

We’ll see how 2005 goes. I’m not expecting much. Maybe I can get better than 400,000.

After learning of the Tsunami attack on Asia, Bush has declared a War against Mother Nature. In a news conference Thursday, George W. Bush explained that we must stop this planet before it does any more destruction. He stated he wanted to begin with Italy.

“These giant salamis have got to be stopped.” said Bush, “We have seen the destruction in Asia, that these salamis are capable of. We understand many of these salamis originate in Italy, therefore, we will be an extensive investigation into where the country could possibly be hiding such weapons of mass destruction.”

Later that day the White House had this to say in a press release, “We apologize for the President’s misinterpretation of the word tsunami. However we agree that we must put a stop to these acts of violence the Earth seems to think she can get away with…possibly Italy too.”

Aside from the recent water attacks on Southern Asia, Earth has also been responsible for snow attacks in northern California, Colorado and much of the Mid-western United States. A spokesperson for the President says “We are prepared to pump billions into stopping this kind of terra-ism” and the President promises to spend the next four years “doing everything in his power to hunt down and kill this planet.”

…its no Buttcrack, but…

Laser Fart

blahblahblah…have a good one!

….ding fries are done…ding fries are done…..

no no..i’m not talking about the fact that we made it to Ohio in one piece (although, that is something rather spectacular - it took us just over 17.5 hours) No, what I’m talking about is, I just fired up the ol’ powerbook, and lo and behold, my folks got wireless internet!!? i knew they had dsl, but wireless!? I wonder if they even know. anyhow…God bless us…EVERYONE!

now its time to sleep…its christmastime…

Driving from memphis to (near) cleveland, OH. left around 11:30am. its now about 6pm. We’re still in TN. fuck this sucks. actully, roads are pretty clear now, but they sucked right out of memphis. I guess it only makes sense that there’s always gonna be more shit, the closer you get to the asshole. More later…

YES! I bet they’re all booked for the season.
Rent-A-Midget

I’ve HEARD some pretty good mash-ups before, but I’ve never SEEN one..check this shit out.

Outkast v. The Beatles

Took some shots of the shitty weather, and decided to try out Flickr.com..
Check ‘em out.

Memphis Snow

…to my buddy BJ and his gf Aileen on their engagement!

(Aileen doesn’t have a website, but her cat does.)

..from the most famous reindeer in headlights of all….

Yeah I got nothing for this one. Just watch it and enjoy your holiday.

Ding! Fries are Done

(thanks Josh)

EVERYONE has got a blog these days! Dammit.

The Spiderman Blog

Please don’t suck, please don’t suck, please don’t suck…

Sin City Trailer

(via POINT BLANK THOUGHTS)

“…but Doc, didja have to use a Delorean!?”

Projects of Rich W.

…is available for download. Its about 540mb, so you might wanna right-click and save as.

I just (re)read this email we got last night in the DFH Radio inbox…here it is:

Come on LiveMix radio & chat, we had fun listening to your radio live on our
radio ! Damn hell ! Come on, http://livemix.online.fr
Now ! Damn it !

See you in the chatroom of live mix (AIM)

So I checked out the website, and apparently its a live show in France…and from what I understand in that email, they were rebroadcasting our show on their show.

Suddenly France is the NEW Bangkok!

Rock on!

As you can see from the photos below, the 1st ann. Door From Helliday Explosion went off w/out a hitch (more or less) and was a wild success. Sorry we didn’t take more pix…we always forget that part.

DFHelliday Explosion Pix

Actually it wasn’t as much of a sleeper as it appears. We had a record listenership, including a few new people - one in particular (shout out to Mort) who claims to have had sex (WITH A GIRL, EVEN!) while listening to the show. We don’t know if he was bullshitting us or not, but we like to think it really happened.

We also had a decent crowd here for the party, even though they chose to turn us down and talk amongst themselves. What?! You’d rather socialize than hear the Chipmunk song?? shit. your loss.

Thanks to everyone that showed up and listened, and stay tuned to the DFH Liquor Cabinet page to find out if there’s gonna be a special Xmas day show next week.

Don’t forget to tune into the First Annual Door From Helliday Explosion tonight at 8pm Central. We’re doing the show and having a party at the same time! Tune in for drunkeness galore!

Door From Hell Liquor Cabinet