Tom Ridge and his Hearing Aid resign.

Am I the only one who finds the new holiday Old Navy ads euphorically pleasing? I’m not sure what it is exactly - the pleasing colors, all the pretty people, or just that blonde girl on the left in particular - but man, I stop at this commercial EVERY TIME. I can’t figure it out. Must be the subliminal messages.

November 25, 2004—According to informed sources in Washington and Houston, the Bush campaign spent some $29 million to pay polling place operatives around the country to rig the election for Bush. The operatives were posing as Homeland Security and FBI agents but were actually technicians familiar with Diebold, Sequoia, ES&S, Triad, Unilect, and Danaher Controls voting machines. These technicians reportedly hacked the systems to skew the results in favor of Bush.
The leak about the money and the rigged election apparently came from technicians who were promised to be paid a certain amount for their work but the Bush campaign interlocutors reneged and some of the technicians are revealing the nature of the vote rigging program.

The money to rig the election in favor of Bush reportedly came from an entity called Five Star Trust, largely based in Houston but a worldwide entity that is directly tied to the Saudi Royal Family.

Other money used to fund the election rigging was from siphoned Enron money stored away in accounts in the Cook Islands, which was once the base of one of the more questionable and Saudi-linked BCCI subsidiaries

Source

H.O.P.E. (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) and Rhino Records are offering the good people of America who have been duped into buying Ashlee Simpson’s CD a reprieve; the opportunity to turn in her CD for one of a higher entertainment quality. Elvis Costello, The Ramones, X, Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, Aretha Franklin, Mr. Bungle, Ray Charles, Abe Lincoln Story, Neil Hamburger, Joni Mitchell, and Brian Wilson.

Starting immediately we will also accept any Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson, Creed, Paris Hilton, Limp Bizkit, and any boy band albums for trade.

Visit H.O.P.E.

Well, its been a few days since I’ve had anything interesting to post. Mostly because all the blogs I steal from have been on vacation. So here’s some photos I shot the other day when we went out to Elmwood Cemetary, here in town. If you haven’t been , don’t blow it off just ’cause you don’t know anyone buried there. Actually, you probably do know someone buried there. Many local names can be found on these stones, as well as bunches of civil war burials. Even still, the headstones are like none I’ve ever seen. From absolutely beautiful, to downright creepy. I plan on visiting again, as they were closing the gates before we got to see everything.

Elmwood Cemetary Shots (pt I)

Like girls? Like meat? Like Girls throwing Meat around? Here ya go.

Hamburger, Potato Salad, Watermelon

You know, the song on that video reminds me an AWFUL lot of this one.

UPDATE: I did a little digging around and discovered, these two songs DID in fact come from the same place. Over at Evolution Control Committee they have these two songs as part of a trilogy. The bisquik song is “Breakfast”, the hamburger song is “Lunch” and there’s even a “Dinner” song. Check ‘em out. Lots of bizarre music on that page.

We weren’t able to spend Thanksgiving w/ my family this year (mostly because we were borerline sick and didn’t want to drive 10 - 13 hours to Ohio), but I found some photos from last year when I drove up by myself..man that drive took for-ev-er.

Thanksgiving in Ohio, 2003

Not into Turkey like everyone else on Thanksgiving?

Here’s a recipe for Whole Stuffed Camel.

Seriously…20 chickens??

And who better to lead us in our Thanksgiving Prayer, than the late, great, William S. Burroughs.

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Having trouble understanding? Read along.

As the Bloody Midget Wrestling tour makes its rounds, its inevitable that other people will take photos and post ‘em online.

So here’s a buttload more Bloody Midget Wrestling Photos

I’m just mad, we didn’t get a girl w/ our show!

Jesus Christ Cross Shaped Feces - Sign From God

As Seen on eBay

UPDATE: eBay has pulled this item. Damn ebay not lettin’ folks buy their shit.

Kevin Rose reports:

Well my friends – TSS has evolved once again. This coming Monday the 29th, you’ll see a brand new cast take the helm. We’ve had a lot of talented hosts as part of the TSS family, and now we have two new additions: Kevin Pereira, and Chi-Lan Lieu.

More

Ok, first, let me state, I’ve never seen this Pereira buy in action, but based on that photo, i’ve got two words: DOUCHE-MONKEY. Oh, Kevin (Rose) and Sarah, just leave, so i can officially stop caring about this show…ugh..

Ahhh…what a wonderful thing Photoshop and free time can be!

Dirty Star Wars

(Most Def’ NOT Work Safe)

..To my friend Tony and his girlfriend Heather on their engagement yesterday.

In related news, there’s this and this.

Reuters

LOS ANGELES - A new video game to be released Monday allows players to simulate the assassination of President Kennedy.
The release of JFK Reloaded is timed to coincide with the 41st anniversary of Kennedy’s killing in Dallas and was designed to demonstrate that a lone gunman was able to kill the president.

JFK Reloaded Website

Points are awarded or subtracted based on how accurately the shots match the official version of events as documented by the Warren Commission, which investigated Kennedy’s assassination.

Shooting the image of Kennedy in the right spots in the right sequence adds to the score while “errors” such as shooting first lady Jacqueline Kennedy lead to deductions.

Full Story

Be sure to look for their flight sim game, in 40 years, where you get to fly your plane into the WTC .

Avail. At Target

UPDATE: Turns out, this isn’t a joke. Thats why Target hasn’t pulled this (yet). This is a REAL item. I did some digging around (no jokes please) and found this info:

“Mystery solved: A little poking around in the item information for Target’s”Anal Massage item reveals an ASIN. This is because Amazon and Target are business partners and ASINs are the unique identifiers used by Amazon. So if you go to Amazon and search for this item’s ASIN (B0002KPIBO) you learn that (unfortunately) the item in question is not an actual anal massage, but rather an instructional DVD called “Anal Massage.”

And if you go to amazon.com, and find that item, and read its description, you’ll find this fine review from one customer:

This DVD, Anal Massage for Relaxation and Pleasure by the New School of Erotic Touch, is an informative, practical, comprehensive and fun introduction to anal massage. It is appropriate for housewives, lovers, massage therapists and everyone interested in deepening the experience of relaxation and pleasure for themselves or for others. The DVD presents an easy to follow hands-on format that is comfortable for all types of viewers. The director, Dr. Joseph Kramer, encourages us to watch, to learn, to practice, and to enjoy, and then to repeat the process until we too can experience the pleasures of both giving and receiving an anal massage. This is the best kind of education. I’ve watched this DVD several times and I use the techniques with my partner. We both enjoy it very much, and I think you will too.

So there ya have it. Whats that? ohhh..thats the sound of a thousand “Add This To My Wishlist” clicks.

UPDATE #2:Stangely, Target has changed the URL for this item. NOT deleted it, just changed it. I’ve updated the link on this page, however, if you wanted to, you could just go to the Target website and search for “anal massage” ..it’ll bring it up.

UPDATE #3Well, Target.com has finally pulled the links. However, if you still search for the item in question, it’ll tell you there’s 3 matches, a Video, a DVD and a Music, but when you click on any of the search results, it goes to an empty page. Oh well, you had your chance, now you’re gonna have to learn how to do anal massage on street, like everyone else.

By popular demand, here it is.

Pistons v. Pacers v. Fans