Losing my transportation two weeks ago, has turned me into a pretentious snob.
After the scooter I was borrowing got ripped off, I’ve been doing a lot of walking. Oh sure I have no choice, but now I find myself sneering at all these car-driving, ozone killing, maniac, who just want to run me over as I try to cross the street.
“You lazy slobs! Get out of your oil sucking metal elephant and use the legs God gave you!”
Sure, I’d be one of those very same slobs if some aminal hadn’t made off with my ride.
Now that I’m walking everywhere, I’ve started going to the grocery store thats closest to me - Wild Oats. Yeah, the more expensive, healthier grocery store. This automatically means I’m now buying the organic milk and the fake meat veggie burgers and a various assortment of other “all natural” products.
So today I’m standing in line at the Wild Oats, reading a copy of “Adbusters” waiting for the hippie chick to tally up my basket of Boca Burgers, celery, and even some dog biscuits with “no artificial preservatives” when I realized, yeah, I’m now officially a pretentious prick.